“I release what is not mine to carry”

People’s words, especially harsh or critical ones, can land deep if they touch old wounds or unhealed places inside us.

The key is learning how to filter what comes in so it doesn’t take root as a belief about yourself.

Here are a few approaches:

1. Notice the Impact, Don’t Swallow It Whole

When someone says something nasty, pause and notice: What does this stir up in me? Shame? Anger? Sadness?

Instead of automatically believing it, treat it as information about them, not about you.

“Their words show me more about their state of mind than about my worth.”

2. Check the Source

Ask yourself: Do I value this person’s opinion? Do they live in alignment with values I admire?

If not, their words don’t deserve authority over your inner world.

3. Reframe in Your Favor

Flip it: If someone says “You’re too much,” you might reframe: Actually, my passion and energy are strengths.

This helps turn the jab into proof of what makes you unique.

4. Strengthen Your Inner Voice

Develop affirmations or grounding truths about who you are ( I am worthy. I know my intentions. I trust myself.)

The stronger your own narrative, the less room there is for other people’s.

5. Release the Energy

Use breathwork, movement, or even jumping or shaking your body to physically release the sting. Otherwise, their words can get stored as tension.

6. Inner Child Compassion

Sometimes nasty words hurt most because they echo something you heard as a child. When that happens, you can “re-parent” yourself by offering the younger part of you reassurance:

“I see you. I won’t abandon you. You are safe and loved.”

Don’t hand someone else the pen to write your story. Their words can land at your doorstep, but you decide whether to open the door and invite them in.

Here are a few body-based practices that can help you anchor your mantra so it sticks in your nervous system, not just in your mind:

1. Hand-to-Heart Anchor

• Place one hand over your heart, one over your belly.

• Take a slow breath in, silently repeat your mantra (e.g., “That’s their story, not mine”).

• Exhale fully, imagining the words sliding off you like water.

2. Shake It Off

• When you feel their words lingering in your body, literally shake out your arms, legs, and shoulders.

• While shaking, repeat: “Not mine. I release it.”

• This prevents their words from embedding as tension.

3. Ground Through the Feet

• Stand with feet firmly on the ground.

• Inhale deeply, then exhale while pressing your feet into the earth.

• Imagine their words draining down through your legs into the ground.

• Repeat your mantra as you feel the stability beneath you.

4. Breath Reset

• Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale through the mouth for 6.

• On each exhale, say your mantra softly or silently.

• Longer exhales signal your body: I’m safe, I don’t need to hold this.