Dysregulation colors your lens

Dysregulation changes the lens you see the world through, coloring your perception with fear, urgency, or disconnection.

Neuroscience and Polyvagal Theory reveal that our autonomic nervous system doesn’t just respond to our story, it helps create it. The state of our nervous system shapes how we perceive the world, interpret events, relate to others, and even how we tell our personal narrative.

In fight or flight, your brain scans for danger and may see threats that aren’t really there.

In freeze, you might feel hopeless or disconnected, making it hard to see possibilities.

Survival states filter your perception through fear or shutdown, so what feels true in the moment may not actually be true.

I referenced the "pause" in an earlier post. In fight or flight, "pause" is especially important.

Pausing helps you respond instead of reacting.

When you take a moment to regulate, your brain shifts out of survival mode and back into clarity. You can see the situation more accurately, choose your words more intentionally, and act from a grounded place, not from fear, urgency, or shutdown.

It gives you space to ask: What’s actually happening? or What is actually true? instead of letting your nervous system decide for you.

Here's an example ….

You text your partner and they don’t reply for hours. Your heart races, your stomach tightens, and you think:

“They’re ignoring me. Something’s wrong.”

If you’re dysregulated in this scenario, your reaction will likely come more from your body’s survival state than from logic.

Here’s what it might look like:

Fight mode:

You fire off another text — or several — demanding an answer.

Flight mode:

You distract yourself with busywork or scrolling, but you can’t focus.

Freeze mode:

You shut down emotionally and go numb.

You withdraw from your partner, deciding not to text again “to protect yourself.”

PAUSE.....breathe…. regulate and ask yourself these questions:

1. Is it true?

Yes …it’s true that they haven’t replied......so they must be upset or mad.

2. Can I absolutely know it’s true?

No.

They could just be in a meeting, driving, or with low battery. I don’t actually know.

In the space of the “pause”, we can ask ourselves “Am I in dysregulation right now, and is my body is scanning for threat?

Am I shutting down?

Am I avoiding what I fear this could mean?

If you find yourself doing these things and would like to practice modes of regulation by clearing the color of your lens, please email me at somaticwellnessco@gmail.com.

It’s really changed so much for me. I think it could for you as well.