minding Our own Business

If you can’t directly change it without going through someone else or changing reality itself, it’s probably not your business.

Example 1: Social Media

Your friend posts something you don’t agree with.

Your business: Deciding whether to engage, scroll past, or unfollow; noticing your own reaction and calming yourself.

Not your business: What they posted, why they posted it, or whether they change their mind.

Example 2: Workplace Conflict

A coworker takes credit for an idea.

Your business: Choosing whether to address it calmly, involve your manager, or let it go; how you keep your integrity intact.

Not your business: Whether they acknowledge their behavior or feel guilty about it.

Example 3: Family Gatherings

A relative makes a passive-aggressive comment about your life choices.

Your business: How you respond (or don’t), setting boundaries, and protecting your peace.

Not your business: Whether they approve of your choices or think differently.

Example 4: Health & Wellness

You feel exhausted after a long week.

Your business: Deciding to rest, reschedule plans, and care for your body.

Not your business: Whether others think you “should push through” or “shouldn’t cancel plans.”

These examples show that your business is about what you think, feel, say, and do, not what others think, feel, say, or do, and not the reality you can’t change.

When you step out of other people’s business and God’s business, you save huge amounts of mental and emotional energy.

That energy can then be poured into your own business, where you actually have influence.

Not Your Business = Things outside your direct control

  • Other People’s Business

  • What someone else thinks about you

  • How someone else feels or reacts

  • The choices they make in relationships, work, or life

  • Whether someone keeps or breaks a promise

  • Their personal beliefs, values, or opinions

  • How they parent, eat, vote, or spend money

  • Whether they choose to grow, heal, or stay the same

  • What they say (and whether it’s true or not)

  • Whether they apologize or not

  • Their pace in learning, healing, or changing

God’s Business (Reality’s Business)

  • The weather

  • The passing of time

  • Natural disasters

  • The fact that people age

  • Seasons changing

  • The death of a loved one

  • The economy or global events

  • Traffic jams caused by accidents or construction

  • What’s already happened in the past

  • The fact that life is uncertain

Next time you feel tension rising, pause and ask,

Whose business am I in right now?

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Self-attunement